Last Night/This Mornings DREAM:
I've already told close family and friends that i am pregnant. I'm fine with it, and everyone else seems to me. I actually seem to find it humorous. But I am sitting at a dinner table with one of Josh's VERY Catholic relative ( she only exists in this dream ) and we are having an average conversation then I am bored and she starts asking me about the baby and this is what i collectively say, " Nope, not going to get the baby baptized- i mean, i could just wash him in the tub, same thing ( she is disgruntled )... Nah, I decided to keep it because I don't have enough money to have an abortion, if i did i would've just cut the little guy out ( I'm just saying this to get a reaction, and in my dream she's grasping the front-seem of her dainty blouse)... and you know, if he ends up getting sick I have no problem with Euthanasia!" She gasps, shakes her head and huff-puffs away. I laugh and rub my belly feeling accomplished and proud.
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Is it sad that money makes me happy? Superficial? It's not the actual fact that I have money. It's that it means I'm closer to AUSTRALIA. I'm 3/5ths the way there, and it's all i can think about.
I hate the thought of going to work, but when i'm there it's exhilarating and challenging to have three tables of 8-12 at once. At times I look like a mad rabbit dashing from kitchen - computer - table - bar - bathroom ( because my bladder is pea sized ). That's what work was like last night for only a few hours, then the Pub became a desolate desert bar with the same faces from the nights and nights before.
There's times when i fantasize about ripping off my apron and storming out the front due to a shitty-tipper or like last night. Two 'high school'-self conscious-girls ( not women ) whispered and rolled their eyes as i approached their table, and as soon as i turned my back they giggled as if we were in grade 7 again. Young women are so catty and exude low self esteem; defensive and harsh. I'd take grabby, slutty men too old for me over these females in ostentatious style.
I'm looking for another job, preferably something in the office. Rachel is looking in to getting her mom to find me a job at Stantec. I'm going to look online too, but it's never failed to disappoint me yet! I need all this money because I just realized I can't put ALL my income into savings, Christmas is coming and even though i'm not buying people anything ( because this year i am fully disgusted by Christmas consumerism and how materialistic, artificial, and full of crap this 'christian holiday' has become) but i still need supplies.
I'm looking forward to the future and independence
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2 comments:
"I mean, I could wash him in the tub" HAHA I could so picture you saying all this in real life. And it's a little scary.
Whoever said money can't buy you happiness?
And what kind of supplies do you need? This sounds a little creepy. Do you have your passport and all that yet? Have you handed in your application?
I know, i thought it was hilarious in my dream...sigh.
I just need craft supplies and material and stuff, pretty much.
I got my passport in the beginning of September, remember? Josh and I applied downtown and we got it in exactly two weeks, like they said.
And if you mean the Australia application, you can't apply until 6 weeks prior to departure.
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