" Doesn't playing with Tristan make you want to have kids?" Normally you would expect this conversation to be initiated by a female. But no, Josh asked me this as we were driving around town in the frantic-windshield-wiper rain.
See, I'm not one of those young women planning and stressing over my future wedding, not down to the final detail, or even where i want to have it. I really don't care. I don't fantasize about kids and who they'll look like, and what they'll aspire to be. Or what kind of family dog we'll have...actually, that's half true- my future definitely includes a dog ( or few ). Although I am tired of the general world saying things like ' when you have kids, and when you get married'...it's like my life is this pre-planned event, and this perfect family-of-four life has been shoved down my throat since i can remember;
Some girls, and boys, played house with their dolls and stuffed animals as their well behaved and always beautiful children. I'll admit I did that on occasion, but my favorite make-believe game as a child was ; bitchy business women going to work,cooking, and hanging out with my cool friends. I even remember slamming the 'coffee maker' in my play kitchen and YELLING at my 'employee' on the 'phone,' hanging up and 'driving' ( my car was a minny mouse chair) downtown. I was seven years old and on Sex and the City.I got bored with the family, happy mommy scene quickly as a kid. Oh and then there's the amazing invention of legos, but that's a whole nother story.
Today, if you haven't caught on, I think marriage is a joke. I think a lot of the time the woman wants to get married so she can have a selfish 'look at me' day where everyone showers her in meaningless congratulations and expensive gifts, and the husband does it so he can continue to have sex on a regular basis, so he thinks. Marriage is an outdated tradition, that clearly isn't working if you take a look at stats. I mean, what's the freaking point?
I'm not going to be completely bitter, because sometimes marriages are real and you can tell at the wedding that the couple does mean the vows they're repeating ( repetition, so romantic <3). style="font-style: italic;">I'll never get married, but right now it's not for me.
But back to Josh. My respond obviously was a cynical rant about how horrible marriages can be and kids aren't for everyone, much like this blog entry. But after a few seconds I told him something I wasn't sure I wanted to say to him because it is so cheesy and it was so honest, i said " But besides all that, when i see you play with Tristan, and how utterly amazing and natural you are, you force me to question that decision."
and then I changed the subject
3 comments:
You're cute.
Karina you're 18 years old! There's no rush/pressure.
Josh is going to wear you down for sure.
Siobhan I don't know what Society you live in, but almost everyone i meet asumes my desire is get married and have kids, and when i say that 'i'm not sure' it's like i've just punched them in the gut.
I can name more than 5 people that are hopeful for Josh and I to get married.
I agree that marriage is an outdated tradition.
I always imagined that if i met the right girl, i would take her up to the top of a mountain somewhere, early in the morning and we would just sit together and look out into a valley below.
We would wait until the sun would illuminate the whole sky and then I would say "Now we're married".
Because that in my opinion is all you need.
No church or cult or religion... no witnesses or flowers or rice-throwing or cake or dresses.
Just you and the person you care about.
Just coming to the same conclusion with that person and promising to each other that you'll love them... not in the name of any god or tradition, but in the name of your heart and of your emotions... in the name of what makes us human.
...that's what I think anyway. It might sound stupid... but I just like that romantic kind of stuff...
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