Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. ~Author Unknown

My typical opinions are cynical and often irritating, siobhan says i'm always trying to 'make a statement', I don't disagree. I think it must be utterly boring being a wallflower, and although my natural behavior is to be shy, i am really opinionated and cannot imagine keeping my cracked lips shut whilst listening to someone praise things that go against my moral fiber ( i like using that word lately).
there's a cat in my greasy, funky hair. I usually don't like cats, but i must say i enjoy when they admit they enjoy your touch; the way they uncontrollably purrrrr rrrr rrrr and dig their claws into the furniture when they're truly excited. They're not soo bad, but not as good as dogs<3.
ANYWAYS. Back to my hesitated admittance of happiness. A good portion of the time I'm negative, I'm the girl that doesn't hold the door open for the lagging elders ( no i'm not, but i think about it....). Things in my life, for the past few years have been a bit difficult and definitaely not leave-it-to-fucking-beaver, not like i would want to it to be - but you get the point. Lately they have been getting tougher. I have a few great friends I can turn to for answers, coaxing, and a much-needed shove. The best way I can say this is to use a quote though, "I need to feel the weight of a man on me" Carrie.
I am pretty fucking sure if I didn't have Josh to just, literally be there when I ached, I would seriously be going insane. And admitting that makes me feel weak and vulnerable, but also so grateful that we're together. It's not uncommon for the highlight of my day to slip into sleep onto his warm body, and i'm more than fine with that. I crave it. And the idea of his weight on top of me. Josh is my decadent escape from the sometimes bitter world.
but...
Whenever I hear someone talk about their 'lovelife' i feel like they're trying to rub it in my face, like they're trying to prove how pure their love it. So I'll shut up cause I'm sure we've passed a few eye-rolls already. Yes? haha

As I have been hinting at, things in the real world have been a bit difficult and I have felt sluggish at work. I hit points where I doubt the possibility of reaching across the room on my legs. Most of my dreams have been about work and difficult customers, I'm seriously lacking on my sex and travel dreams.
But the time it takes me to fall sleep has fallen back into normal, but there are those exceptions of nights when I think of something minuscule and get over-excited about it; hello 1 hour later.
I'm excited for sleep just thinking about snuggling in under the blankets...mmm- God, i hate winter.